I thought the Injury Gnome was a Pittsburgh thing…

Oh, Jamie Benn needs surgery? The dummy hurt himself training. No big deal, it’s the offseason. Even if he misses the World Cup, he’ll be fine for training camp. All is cool.Wait, now Tyler Seguin is hurt? It’s ok, they’re just taking him out because the tournament is too short for him to recover. He’ll be fine in 10 days or so…wait, a hairline fracture? Well that sucks. But ok, he’ll be back early in the season even if he isn’t ready for the opener. We’re still ok.

Faksa with concussion symptoms. That sounds bad…he’ll be cleared soon, though, right?

Hemsky left the game early… A groin injury? Damn man, that sounds terrible.

Ok, well at least the tournament is over for our guys. Training camp! We made it! Hold up, Eakin got hurt the first day? What the hell? How does that even happen? Now Shore? Dickinson out until early November recovering from hip surgery? Ok, maybe I’m getting a little concerned now…

Ok, Janmark is missing a preseason game. I’m sure he was just given an extra day to recover, no reason to panic about him being pulled from the lineup at the last minute. Hmm, well him being on crutches doesn’t sound too good, but I’m sure it’s just a bump…he’s out 5-6 months?!? 

Holy crap, ok, this is not funny anymore.  

Basically me for the last couple of weeks.

– Italia


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